Time to unload.

Hello Bloggers,
i have missed you so!

I have so much to say, I doubt most of you will read to the end, and I'll understand if you don't. There will likely be no pictures, as I have taken none recently. So for those of you who really really love me, read on...

Well, in my last post I mentioned that I have had a lot on my mind, and that is the truth. A great load was lifted yesterday when i completed my seminar paper. Earlier this summer I took a piece-of-cake juvenile justice class to get some credits out of the way. I actually really enjoyed is and feel that I learned a lot from it, but it was only 6 weeks and very little was required of us. Aside from attending a reading a case here and there, we had to write one paper. At first, it didn't concern me at all, I was actually looking froward to writing it! I had spent a year writing legal memos and the technicality and specificity of it was stifling to me. The opportunity to write your garden variety research paper was a welcomed relief. Unfortunately for me, the prof gave us all summer to write it. I'm one of those put things off till the last, and I mean very last, minute people. I'm not proud of it and I am working hard to change it. Regardless, for me "all summer" meant the 2 days before it was due. I don't know if you guys have ever tried to write a 20-pager in 2 days, but it's difficult. and mind numbing. and exhausting. and it makes you hate law school and wonder why you ever did it in the first place.
but i finished it, by the grace of God. So glad that he is faithful even when I'm not.
While the paper was definitely a stressor for me, I've had a lot of bigger things on my mind as well. Here's a little background:
When Jonathan and I were dating, there came a point when we had to seriously weigh our priorities and decide if God had designed the two of us to be together. There was no question that we loved each other, but the reality was- we were two incredibly different people. Jonathan's heart was to be a lawyer and have a big house where we could always host people and to budget our money carefully so that we could be generous givers. My heart was to work with sexually trafficked women and travel and not worry about money. We couldn't understand how the Lord could weave these two dreams into one reality. But we prayed and consulted friends and mentors and at the end of the day, we trusted that the Lord was good, that He was bigger than us, and that He had a beautiful plan for our future.
Fast forward a year and a half- we're married, we're settled into our apartment, both of us working our way through law school and life...
and I am finding that I am fearful.
Suddenly, I didn't trust. I didn't understand how anything was going to work out. I knew we could have a wonderful life together, but would I get to do the things I'd always dreamed of doing? Would Jonathan and God forget or ignore my heart's greatest desires?

Thankfully, the Lord never forgets our needs. A couple of posts ago, I mentioned the Whitlocks. They came for a visit a few weekends ago, and my heart was so filled just my seeing their faces!After a lovely afternoon of visiting and eating, Jonathan and I had an opportunity to sit down with Craig privately and discuss our future with him. The blessing that he was to us was more of an encouragement than I have felt in a long time. Craig is, essentially, Jonathan and i blended together, he was able to cast such a beautiful vision for our future. He gave us just a quick glance to the the kind of things that the Lord could have in store for two people like us.
He also reminded me of something very simple and very important, "Chelsy, honor and love your husband."
I realized I had only been thinking about myself, and that is the opposite of what marriage is. Rather than wondering if Jonathan's needs were being met or caring about what he wanted our future to look like, I was thinking about what I was going to get out of the deal, wondering when I would get my share.
Anyone out there who is still magically reading this, if you listen to nothing else, hear this: If you want your marriage to not only work, but thrive and grow, LOVE your spouse more than yourself. Consider what that means and ACT on it.

So where we are now: Jonathan and I agreed a while back, before we were married, that when he graduated law school, we would spend one year overseas. We didn't know where we would be going or what we would be doing, but we knew that this was a step of faith we wanted to commit to.
Talking with Craig reignited our hearts for that year and what it will bring. It's been on my mind a lot recently, and it's sparked other thoughts as well. Thoughts of future and family. Thoughts if what the next 50 years, Lord willing, will bring.
So please pray, our hearts are so full as we go into this school year. We are just beginning to learn all kinds of things, some of them exciting, and some of them scary. Please pray for our peace and our renewed faith in the Lord and His goodness.
Love you all:)