A time to keep silent and a time to speak

I am, and have always been considered, a fairly outspoken indivdual. Not afraid to state my case or my mind. Thankfully, suprisingly, (and painstakingly) law school has humbled me and made me virtually shy in some respects. I have a hard time fitting in to this newly developed "nook" sometimes, but I think it is for the best. I think before I speak more frequently. And Iam finding that I listen better. But for all the good it's done for me in some ways, it's take a toll on me in others. I don't stand up for things as passionately or trust my brain as surely as I used to for fear of being wrong or, worse yet, for fear of being verbally and mentally beaten down by someone who knows more that i do. In law school, a great variety of topics come up that merit heavy debate. However, as liberalism has a virtual monopoly on my school (and, as it seems, my generation), the debate rarely arises. While I often consider myself a donkey/elephant crossbread (a delephant?), I hold several conservative opinions upon which I do not waiver. If I could wind back the clock this semester I would kick myself a handful of times for not speaking up when I know I should have. Not in defense of a political party, but in defense of justice, of rightness, of the Gospel.

My prayer is that the Lord would give me the strength and wisdom to find the balance between:

Proverbs 17:27-28 - A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

and...

Hebrews 13:6- So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven... a time to keep silence and a time to speak."

Ecc. 3:1-7

I don't blog when I most need to-

It's a fact. The more I have to say the more the less I blog and the more my husband gets his ear talked off. Thankfully he is patient and loving and far more level-headed than I.

In short, my world has recently been shifting and changing steadily ((and without my permission, I might add)). When I graduated college I was passionate, motivated, idealistic. And, honestly, I really liked myself that way. I began a journey that, at the time, felt so clearly laid out before me, it was as if i could do nothing else. I applied and was accepted to law school and started my first year last fall. Now, nearly halfway through my second year, the path is fading. I know that this is where the Lord wants me. He brought me here, ONLY the Lord could have brought me here. Recently, though, I have been so tired and frustrated and confused. I spend too much time wondering what I'm doing here and pleading with God to tell me what it's all going to amount to. But this is a new part of the journey, the part where he only lays down one brick at a time. The part where he only gives me what I need to get through this day. The part where he teaches me to stop looking at 3 years from now and all the students with better grades than me and the lack of jobs available and JUST look at Him.

I guess I have forgotten something very critical:
I don't know about you, but I am living for something much MUCH bigger than myself.
I do not live for myself, but for my Creator.
My goal is not so small as to be comfortable.
And for those of you who don't know, for those of you who have come to believe that living for yourself is the greatest joy, take it from someone who has been on both sides of the fence- there is one GREATER.
When I wrap myself up in His heart, His causes, His people, His Word- I become myself again. I become what I was designed to be.

Remember who you are. Remember what you are created to be and do and , I promise, the other things just fall into place.

"For he chose ((me)) in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love, he predestined ((me)) to be adopted as ((a daughter)) through Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will." Eph. 1:4-5

Who are you?